So I get a phone call informing me it’s my third and final notification about a Warranty Recall for my car. Being the owner of a Ford Windstar van….. (and in a spunky mood) I bit.

A guy answers like he’s been on the couch getting hammered and I just knocked on his door unannounced, a southern drawl rough hewn by smoking 20 Winston’s a day in the call center I can hear in the background….

Recall guy: ahh… helllo

Me: Hello, calling about my warranty

Recall guy: Whaaat year n model is urrr car

Me: You called me so I thought you…

Recall guy: Urrrr FUCKIN idiot!

Me: Sir can you tell me your name, your company name and phone number?

Recall guy: it’s 1-800-EAT SHIT!

Me: nice!

Recall guy: you probably would f*** your mother

Me: Uh…

Recall guy: and you probably like little girls too (mumbles about sex or something)

Me: Sir you went there way to fast

Recall guy: fuck you asshole

Me:  Shall we discuss all your issues or go back to the warranty?

Recall guy: Pussy

Me: (waiting for more)

Recall guy: Fuck you (hangs up)

Okay so now my day seems way less suck compared to whatever hell he’s living. And now I’m truly interested in what kind of operation employs Americans who sitting in a room where I can vaguely hear others talking let rip with the most direct abusive language I’ve hear in a good long while. Dispensed in manner such that I could see the guy stabbing you with a knife with a cigarette dangling from his lips, pouring Apple Barrel schnapps with his other hand while telling someone on the phone to f* themselves

It was a sad day in Fisk family history today. Yes it’s true we retired the Frostline Kit hockey bag after 33 years of active & semi-active service.

My brother being a madman of sorts had decided for some reason to begin sewing his own camping equipment. He built his own electronics from Heathkit and Radio Shack so why not? He found Frostline, a Colorado based company that had kits for just about everything you could think of. He made a tent, a sleeping bag, gators, a jacket… I wanted in on the fun! Anything that involved tubes of Goose Down and an antique sewing machine was not something I wanted to miss out on. So I made a pair of mittens. Mittens with a 1/8″ thick leather palm and that were good down to about minus 80 (perfect for Indiana!). Damn that “extra” Goose Down option! We ordered extra goose down for everything. I probably lost 5lbs in palm sweat over the new 5 years. I also made a goose down coat that lasted me 3-4 years and then when vests became trendy I removed the arms and got another few years out of it. Seam sealer made the perfect patching material for all the goose down leaks that developed (wasn’t much fingernail polish in our house).
Then I made the hockey bag. This was the days well before he monster $200 sherpa packs you see rink rats carrying today, plus we weren’t exactly a hockey mecca. Laundry bags, military duffel bags, an occasional real sport bag for well to do kids. Me, I made my own damn bag! Sucker did every travel game and practice for 5 years. Then it went to college, then it went camping, then bicycle racing, then to the closet following me home to home seeing occasional duty for various tasks. Then my daughter started hockey. Hell yes it stunk. But I made it and if it was good enough for me and it still worked no way was I paying $50 for an inferior Chinese product with a logo slapped on the side. The bag was still as solid as ever. No holes, zipper issues. She used it for the next 4 years. Until the day came. Dad she said, I can’t fit everything in the bag. She was right and the time had come. We retired the Frostline kit bag ending 33 years of service. Amazing.

About Frostline: http://www.oregonphotos.com/Frostline1.html

It’s 11:15pm. I stand in front of the kitchen sink drinking a pre-recovery break (also know as short periods of sleep) glass of water after (yet another) 15 hour day at the office. I sigh lightly releasing a part of the day and run my hand through my hair. My hand sticks briefly on something tar like.  On inspection I appear to have shit on my head.   The symbology no longer bothers with vague allusions, it’s now on my frickin head – you sir have had a shitty day. Suddenly I’m tasked with figuring out how I have non avian poo on my head at 11 oclock at night after being in an enclosed Office space or automobile since 6:30am. Pieces of my day begin to dance before me. I recall Robin the fairy godess of all things snack and beverage taunting me with cookies in the middle of a conference call.  I remember muting the phone so I could eat them.  And that memory triggers another. Hearing from two cubes away a request for Robin to grant permission to throw a cookie.  This would explain why I recall  something being thrown into my cube during another conference call. No direct blows and nothing broke so the event quickly faded into the oblivion of my call and the rest of the day.  So now I  stand staring at what looks like a robust turd on my finger. Ewwww. Then I began to get a sweet smell.  I assemble the memories, Oatmeal chocolate chip. I lick my finger. My shitty day just had a sweet ending.

Bacon and Cheese. Involves Weaving Bacon, how can you loose!
http://foodproof.com/photos/full/bacon-cheese-roll-1290

Our last hockey net was of the $49 PVC variety. The net did itself proud for 4 years until we laid a small ice rink in the backyard and the kids performed an experiment destined for failure – real pucks, 12f temps and… cheap PVC. Makes a nice cracking sound.

I checked around the web for “homemade hockey net” and found some nice options for building a stronger PVC net, most were not full size and the cost of the PVC brings you into the realm of cheap metal nets at the sporting good stores.

Best build your own Hockey Net I found:
http://www.sceneandheard.ca/archive/V2_01/focus_net.htm

So I was prepared build the net with wood, just like I did with my brother and sister on our patio. Freeze the patio, shoot on a ramshackle wood net, hope you didn’t hit the sliding glass door, find all kinds of pucks 20ft away in the bushes every spring. 2×4’s here we come! We stopped on the way to Home Depot to pick up some hockey sticks and tape. I was checking out the hockey nets and commented that we could get the shiny metal “NHL” approved! one if they were ever on sale. So of course I walked by a sign “half price off all althletic nets”. The sign was not on the display models but over in the corner, on the bottom shelf daring anyone to find it. Half price! Nice! Just like the Franklin soccer goal we’d picked up at the same Sports Authority store 6 months prior. So we bought a Franklin Professional street and roller hockey goal with Roll a Goal Technology(tm) for $59.99. The kids put it together in about 45 minutes (lacing the net took 25+). The rollers are nice, if the kids ever put it away… and the cost was less than PVC and similar to scrap wood. The net and results! (ouch) below.

Twas a shocking and sad site I saw today. An advertisement on the front page of a newspaper. The Chicago Tribune no less. I’ve been getting newsprint on my hands since about 1969. I delivered my hometown newspaper from the age of 10-13. I’ve been a subscriber wherever I’ve lived. I’ve never seen an ad on the front page. I fear the end is near.

Sept. 22, 2008 – www.chicagobusiness.com
“The new three-section format will feature a 50-50 ratio of ads to editorial copy, saving the broadsheet money by necessitating fewer journalists and less newsprint.”

Fewer Journalists, less newsprint…

How does Intelligent design prove Global Warming? It goes like this.

I bought a POS MTD Yardmaster Riding Mower, it was built by pre-teens in some Asia minor country for sure, but designed by humans none the less and designed by humans equals Intelligent Design™.

I live in the Midwest of the United States of America where grass was intelligently designed not to grow in late summer but to turn brown and die thus leading intelligent people to not so intelligently develop chemicals to make the intelligently designed grass even more intelligent, and to soak the grass with water at a time of year when water is most precious therefore heaping some not so intelligent behavior into the mix in an effort to fix perceived flaws in the master designers design which of course leads to mowing the grass weekly when you’re not supposed to by design which in turns adds to pollution and wastes gas and….

Therefore my Intelligently Designed lawnmower choking on 8″ grass blades in Early September just five days after mowing some 6″ blades proves global warming. How?
Well I’ve been mowing midwestern lawns for about 35 years. I’ve (A) never seen green grass in July to August and (B) have never mowed a lawn twice in one week during August to September. Not even as a kid trying to scam old lady Higgins out of some extra cash. Grass simply doesn’t grow in the Midwest during late summer, it dies. The intelligent designers made it so. Therefore the only intelligent conclusion one can reach is something has changed…

I was indoctrinated into thee land of non crappy mass consumption beer during my college days at a certain Midwest university. Around 1986 or so we were one of only two towns in the nation stocking Samuel Smiths on the shelf and with Sunday morning Beer, Wine and egg Merchant du Vin meetings.

Well we developed standards. Basic standards like if beer is in a can pass it to the guy with the Miller Lite cap and Marlboro jacket so he can savor the soapy water flavor before crushing it on his forehead. And if the beer has a twist off top on a bottle hand it to the guy howling Hank Jr. lyrics by the campfire as he’ll enjoy the fine artificial fire brewed flavor before smashing the bottle for emphasis as he lets out a rebel yell.

Well recent exposure seems to show that the beer rivers they are a changing. Crazy kids today are canning damn good beer. Good beer. In a can! and they’re bottling it with twist offs as well. The nerve! How the heck is an elitist supposed to look down their nose when the lines in the sand have been filled with fine hops and barley. Damn kids, they’re on about making good beer for the masses. Well I guess I tip my tin can in their general direction….

Beer in a can, 16 ounces! – CynicAle and Bender are very very tasty.
http://www.surlybrewing.com/cans.php

Dales Pale Ale, in a can….. beat the living crap outta the IPA I had from a fancy Boulder Brew pub (Walnut Street Brewery).
http://www.oskarblues.com/

Several very good beers, with a twist top! (ack!)
http://www.summitbrewing.com/

Our three teenage boys Jacob, Adam and Ezra (no it was not a religious mission) passed through O’Hare International airport security at 2:20am on their way to three weeks in Guatemala.

Two weeks to the day later we found ourselves passing through O’hare security at the exact same time. All ten of us bound for Guatemala. Our flight attendant informed us we had been placed on standby. We apparently should have arrived at 11:00pm, 4.5hrs before our flight. It’s a busy night at Taca Airlines. 3:10am and we are handed all but one boarding pass. My brother inquires if it possible to obtain one more… for he too would like to make the flight! He gets one and the trip begins.

Guatemala Photos: Antigua, San Miguel Duenas,
Lake Atitlan, Pacaya Volcanao, Tikal and more

http://www.gfisk.com/gallery/Family/Guatemala/

http://www.gfisk.com/gallery/Family/Guatemala07II/

In one of my past careers I used to fly in helicopters fairly often to do architectural photography. I was an assistant to an excellent boss who had learned his trade in the military shooting images for maps in Alaska. We flew out of Midway airport in Chicago and had many interesting trips.

Once when shooting a roofing job on the John Hancock building in Chicago my boss requested the pilot get closer to the building as we circled. The pilot politely declined due to the winds that large buildings can create. Apparently you can literally get sucked into the building or blown out of control as you come around the buildings edge and there’s a sudden shift in wind (so we take out a few Mag Mile shoppers… whats the big deal!?). My boss expressed to me that the pilot was a wuss as we could have gotten closer and gotten better shots in doing so.

Well a few months later we went out with the same pilot on the most mind numbing chopper shoot I’d ever been on – 1.5 hours flying straight out over flat cornfields and nothingness to shoot a box shaped Japanese owned factory and then 1.5 hours back – When we finished shooting the building the pilot asked if we minded a little something to spice the flight up since it would be his last flight with us. He promptly buzzed a cornfield and had some fun. When done my boss asked what he was going to do. Pilot says he’s going to Alaska to work the high wire. I asked what that meant (in a loud chopper with open doors wearing headphones) and was informed it meant sitting on a platform extended from a helicopter several hundred feet up in the air working on high voltage power lines in a metal suit. You work one week, take two weeks off. Make beacoup money in two years if you can handle it that long and then move on. What a wuss! Kinda changed my boss and I’s opinion of the Pilot.

Well this video is exactly what our pilot was going to do.

High Voltage Cable Inspection
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tzga6qAaBA

IU vs UI today. Will Illinois play the revenge card again? I think not. The Sampson era so far has been marked by a much more focused team. Playing hard on all plays and with awareness. An amazing lack of “what the hell are they doing?!” stretches for the first time in a long time. IU isn’t going down twice to Illinois in one season!

One day away from SuperBowl XLI – Will Rex rock and Peyton plop. Or will the Colt of destiny come shinning through? I think DA Bears will run it. Their D will just barely hold on and Devin Hestor will hit the score that makes the difference. Bears 28, Colts 21. Sorry Indy. and if not… oh well Indy is my original hometown team.

Just when I think there’s nothing special about where I live…

Our nice house in the suburbs lulls one into a false sense of blah. Big box grocery, shiny chain gas stations, drive here, drive there, no where in particular. Then you remember that you live one thirty minute drive from a totally different world that’s not available to 95% of the midwest. Chicago.
Drive we did for dinner at the Ethiopian Diamond with african beer and live music provided by Kelan Phil Cohran, a Chicago legend and one time member of Sun Ra’s band. Kelan played harp, trumpet, french horn, keyboards… After an excellent meal and service we traveled south down Broadway to Green Mill Cocktail Lounge for two sets of excellent Jazz by Bob long and friends. A wonderful evening.
Good food, good music. Worlds away…

I have just blogged about blogging a honey-doo blog

There’s a Hole in the Bucket
Traditional

(Boys)
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

(Girls)
So fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

With what should I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I fix it, dear Liza, with what?

With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with straw.

But the straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The straw is too long, dear Liza, too long.

So cut it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So cut it dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it!

With what should I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I cut it, dear Liza, with what?

Use the hatchet, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Use the hatchet, dear Henry, the hatchet.

But the hatchet’s too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The hatchet’s too dull, dear Liza, too dull.

So, sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So sharpen it dear Henry, dear Henry, sharpen it!

With what should I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I sharpen, dear Liza, with what?

Use the stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Use the stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, the stone.

But the stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.

So wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So wet it dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.

With what should I wet it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I wet it, dear Liza, with what?

With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, water.

With what should I carry it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I carry it dear Liza, with what?

Use the bucket dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Use the bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, the bucket!

There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.