How does Intelligent design prove Global Warming? It goes like this.
I bought a POS MTD Yardmaster Riding Mower, it was built by pre-teens in some Asia minor country for sure, but designed by humans none the less and designed by humans equals Intelligent Design™.
I live in the Midwest of the United States of America where grass was intelligently designed not to grow in late summer but to turn brown and die thus leading intelligent people to not so intelligently develop chemicals to make the intelligently designed grass even more intelligent, and to soak the grass with water at a time of year when water is most precious therefore heaping some not so intelligent behavior into the mix in an effort to fix perceived flaws in the master designers design which of course leads to mowing the grass weekly when you’re not supposed to by design which in turns adds to pollution and wastes gas and….
Therefore my Intelligently Designed lawnmower choking on 8″ grass blades in Early September just five days after mowing some 6″ blades proves global warming. How?
Well I’ve been mowing midwestern lawns for about 35 years. I’ve (A) never seen green grass in July to August and (B) have never mowed a lawn twice in one week during August to September. Not even as a kid trying to scam old lady Higgins out of some extra cash. Grass simply doesn’t grow in the Midwest during late summer, it dies. The intelligent designers made it so. Therefore the only intelligent conclusion one can reach is something has changed…